If there is ever a year

The bells don’t jingle

There is no red suit

To warm Kris Kringle

The reindeer have gotten

Too fat to fly

The Christmas Star fails

To sparkle in the sky

The gingerbread men

Make all the children sick

Tongues stick like glue

To peppermint sticks

Presents disappear (Poof)

From under the tree

Ornaments shatter

Cutting-up feet and knees

Pine needles fall

From the tree like rain

Fruit cake gives them

Indigestion pain

If there is ever a year

This may be the one

Where mishaps and mayhem

Outdo holiday fun