Dear Old Man Winter,
I’m preparing for your arrival. Just wondering when that will be? I’m sorry if that’s rude of me to ask, but you see, some of your belongings have already arrived at my doorstep. At the moment, they are sparse and quite manageable, but as more show up, I can tell they will become quite a nuisance.
If you could come and possibly leave a little early that would be fine by me. Even better, if you find a more suitable place to visit, it will be no problem to forward your items onto your new destination. We really have no use for them here.
But, if you must visit, please be on your best behavior. No one likes a curmudgeon who inflicts his will on his unsuspecting hosts by barraging them with gusts of arctic breath and jabs from icy fingers. Also, please be mindful not to cause damage. Some things just aren’t replaceable and it seems you don’t know the power of your own strength.
If I can be frank, you are not the most liked man. In fact, your imminent arrival has been known to be the cause of wide spread outbreaks of depression. Although, to be fair; some of the children seem to be in awe of your talents. It’s understandable why they can’t wait for the arrival of your, at times, spectacular show.
Regardless of the few who hope for a long, personal visit with you, let me leave you with a parting thought. Last year’s stay was an unprecedented one. You remained way too long, well past the next scheduled guest’s arrival date. You showed no remorse for overstaying your welcome. Please be a little more respectful this year. Perhaps I can suggest an early departure to make up for last year? Now that would only be fair. I don’t need an immediate answer, but please in the very least, think about my suggestions.
Until we meet again…